Are you Likable?
People will never forget how you made them feel. It’s my favorite Maya Angelou quote.
When people are working with you, personally or professionally, they remember how they felt when they were with you. That’s what charisma is to me.
[ctt template=”3″ link=”f08Uf” via=”yes” ]People will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou. Do you know how to make people feel good? [/ctt]
Charisma is likability. If we were to identify a charismatic person, we would say it is someone who makes you feel really good about yourself when you are with them. Whether they are a television interviewer, a news broadcaster, or even a Hollywood celebrity, they somehow have the ability to make you feel good about you.
I know we all have charisma. We all have it to different degrees.
[ctt template=”3″ link=”c8dcw” via=”yes” ]We all have charisma. Do you know how you show it to others?[/ctt]
How do we show that charisma? How do we show people that they should feel good in our company? How do we make people feel good about themselves without being condescending? The answer is quite simple: it is how you interact with them. To make you likable, you have to think about them. How do you greet them? Do you smile?
I recently read that women smile 62 times a day, and men smile eight times a day. Babies smile 200 times a day. Which one of those makes you feel better? Babies. I always feel good when I’m with babies. Is it that smile? To be likable and charismatic we need to have an inviting, open face. It makes people feel good.
I’m one of these people that can be shopping, and someone will walk up to me and ask, “Do you know where the dog food is?” If I do, I tell them. As they walk away, I ask myself, “Do I look like I work here?”
I have an approachable face and presence (I don’t actually look like I work in the store). The fact that I make people feel comfortable approaching me is a form of charisma! Are you that type of person? Do you have a smile on your face? Do people approach you, or do people stay away from you? It has nothing to do with male or female. It’s really how you make people feel. So, tell your face, “You’re a nice person,” and put a smile on it.
To be likable, start by remembering names. I’m absolutely amazed at how many people say to me, “Oh, I’m not good with names.” If there is one secret to success, it’s to learn people’s names and use their names when speaking to them. When you go to buy your coffee, the server is wearing a name badge. It’s easy to say, “Thanks, Mike. I appreciate that.” They look at you, and respond, “You’re welcome.” If you see Mike every morning, eventually Mike is going to say, “What’s your name?” Mike will then respond, “Thanks, Rhonda. Nice to see you again this morning.”
Making use of someone’s name is immediately personalizing the interaction. How do you make people feel when they feel it’s a personal interaction? They feel good, of course. You’re not always going to know everyone’s names. Sometimes, you’re going to have a conversation with someone, and you won’t know their name yet, so what you have to be able to participate is a little bit of the small talk. Most people hate small talk, but be comfortable being the one that initiates the conversation. Be comfortable to be the one that says, “So, how are you today?”
I’m the type of person that when I get in an elevator, I’ll usually look at anyone standing there, smile, and I’ll say, “I think I’m going to drive today. What floor would you like?” They look at me like I’m a little strange, but that often opens up the conversation, and it makes them feel relaxed because generally, no one in an elevator feels relaxed. So, if I’m making them feel relaxed, that’s what I’m trying to do. Think about all those areas where you can make things a little more comfortable.
Do you speak to the bus driver when you get on the bus in the morning? Do you speak to the concierge in the front of your building? Do you talk to the person that serves your coffee? Do you say hello to people as you walk by them? Make them feel good. I guarantee that you’re going to feel good as well.
All of this comes naturally with having a positive attitude, knowing that your goal today is to make someone else feel good. What a great goal. Have that goal for every day, and you’ll be amazed at how much more likable you are, how much more approachable you are, and how much more successful you are. All because of how you made someone else feel.
Your challenge this week is to use names, to make people feel relaxed in elevators, to be positive, and to be the person that you want to be because of how you make other people feel.
Good luck, and keep on the right track.
Article By, Rhonda Scharf