I remember my first day of high school, my first day at my new job, and the first time I went on a date. I was scared. Getting married, having a baby, and buying our first home all scared me. Scared of the unknown.
Those experiences were all good things, but my fear stripped my positive attitude away. I remember thinking I would get fired because I didn’t know what I was doing, and if I were fired, I would have to move back home with my parents. When I brought home my first child, I barely slept, worried that something might go wrong and I’d be an incompetent parent.
My fears kept me up at night, ate away at my subconscious, and had my mind racing on what-ifs might happen. And they weren’t the positive what-ifs I was thinking about.
Remember the fear we felt in March 2020 when the pandemic was declared? We had never experienced anything that before and had no idea what to expect. That fear instilled itself and ate away at our positive attitude. We started to worry about our family and the what-ifs that raced through our minds day and night.
Fear causes people to be negative.
Recently, some world politics have caused many people to feel fear again. We aren’t sure what will happen, how we will be impacted, or the long-term effects of what does happen.
Our minds take this fear and sabotage our positive attitude. Except this time, we aren’t going to let that happen.
The fact that we know that our fears can eat away at our positive attitude is good. I can’t control the choices being made right now, but I can control my attitude to ensure that fear doesn’t take over.
Keeping our mind and body healthy is crucial to stay positive when the what-ifs creep in and fear takes over.
- Exercise. Shawn Ancor’s book The Happiness Advantage cited a study where three groups of patients treated their depression with medication, exercise, or a combination of the two.
The groups were then tested six months later to assess their relapse rate. Of those who were on medication alone, 38 percent of them slipped back into depression. For those who had a combination of meditation and exercise, 31 percent relapsed. The surprising result was that for those who did exercise alone, only 9 percent of them relapsed.
For years, my favorite exercise was running. Age has taken its toll on my knees, and I can’t run anymore. But I can walk. So, we walk—a lot. When we walk, we often chat about our day. Although we work only six feet apart in the same office, we don’t chat all day long. It’s a nice time to talk about what’s on our mind while caring for our bodies. As the weather gets nicer, golf will be on the schedule, and hopefully, this year, I can get out on my paddle board far more than I did last year.
Exercise is good for the body and the mind. Find a way to move your body so your brain can get unstuck, too.
- Get Outside. Something about the sun and being outside makes my world a happier place. Spring hasn’t arrived everywhere yet, and you should force yourself to get outside for at least 15 minutes daily. Walk the dog (or the neighbor’s dog!), get the mail, and walk the block. Move your body outside! I read a recent study that said that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood but broadened thinking and improved working memory.
- Limit Negativity. This could include multiple sources depending on where your negativity is coming from. Maybe someone in your life loves to share all the negative media possible. Can you spend less time with them? Can you announce you are on a media moratorium and don’t want to hear today’s stock market numbers? Perhaps NOT watching multiple news programs during the day is the answer (or shut off the news alerts on your phone). I have a friend who decided to take a month off social media as she needed a cleanse from the negativity she kept seeing. I have some people on my social media feed that I can “pause” seeing their posts for 30 days without unfriending them. It isn’t easy to do, and I’m certainly not great at it, but staying away from the negativity is something I need to do to remain positive and to stop hearing the things that cause me to worry and be scared.
I don’t choose to stick my head in the sand and ignore the world around me, but I also wish to stay positive as much as possible. I want to continue to see the silver lining; to do that; I need to make a concerted effort.
I don’t want fear to overtake my thinking and who I am. I want to stay positive and enjoy the life I am living. Being aware of how fear can ruin your attitude is important. Don’t let the what-ifs take over. Enjoy life and stay positive.
