We all know that person at work who blows everything out of proportion. Everything is a life-threatening situation, exaggerated; the world is always plotting against them, and they love to stir the pot, among others! They are the office Drama Queen/King!
There is always that one person who thrives on drama. And with our Drama Queen/King, stress is close behind. It can be petty arguments, gossip, victim language, constant complaining, passive-aggressive behavior, and much more. The more they create havoc, the happier they are.
Dealing with drama can be challenging. Here are some strategies for dealing with your Drama Queen/King.
1. Set Boundaries. Calling them out won’t work in your favor, but you must let them know what you will and won’t do. Let them know you will listen and offer support, but only at lunch or breaks. Let them know that you are focused on your role during the workday.
Another boundary you may set may be about gossip. Let them know that you don’t want to hear it if they wouldn’t share that information with the other person in the room (would you say that if she were in this room?). Share your approach to a zero-gossip workplace. The same can be done for complaints. Instead of them sharing what the company is doing wrong, set your boundary that you aren’t interested in that type of conversation, but instead want to hear what they did right.
A few years ago, we were on vacation with the person who complained about everything. The prices were too expensive, the food was too cold, the service too slow, etc.. It was exhausting for me and ruining my holiday. Each time something negative was shared, I turned the question around (quite obviously) to say, “What has been your favorite meal/show/server?” to point out I was setting a boundary about complaining. I didn’t flat out tell them I didn’t want them complaining, but I clearly set boundaries.
- Remain calm and don’t react. Because everything is “over the top” with our Drama Queen/King, don’t respond emotionally. You likely need to remind yourself that they over-react, exaggerate, and make everything bigger than it is, so don’t allow yourself to react. Instead, respond.
The difference between reacting and responding is a matter of seconds. Responding means taking a deep breath and letting the thought travel all the way to your brain before you say anything. Sounds easy – it isn’t.
But since your Drama Queen/King is happy to tell you more about it (whatever “it” is), let them roll while you ask yourself if you are reacting or responding. If we react, we fuel the fire and encourage them to continue.
By not giving your Drama Queen/King the response they want (your emotional reaction), they are less likely to come running to you when they need to vent or need confirmation they are correct. Giving yourself that precious few seconds ensures you stay out of the drama by not being the “go-to person” when they are in full drama mode.
- Create a positive work culture; of respect and professionalism. That means that you need to refrain from discussing what your Drama Queen/King did with your colleagues. Lead by example and be a role model for others by maintaining a positive attitude. Encourage open discussion within the team so that if there are concerns, they can be addressed openly and respectfully.
If there are issues that need to be addressed, do so promptly. Ignoring conflicts or issues isn’t the answer, but focusing on finding solutions is. Create a team that feels the same way so you can all create this culture.
If there is a way to regularly thank, acknowledge, and celebrate team and individual successes, create it! Create a team that is supportive and motivated to work in a healthy and positive environment.
You may never rid yourself of your Drama Queen/King, but you can create an environment where everyone can thrive while focusing on their job. It takes a strong leader (with or without authority) and a commitment to creating a positive work environment. You may find that your Drama Queen/King finds a new workplace that feeds their need for drama because you’ve ensured that your workplace doesn’t!
This article was written by Rhonda Scharf and not by artificial intelligence.
