Dealing with Enemies ? Keeping ON TRACK with Rhonda – September issue

by | Sep 23, 2016 | Ask Rhonda, Efficiency, Help Me Rhonda, Management, Office Solutions

On the Right Track
from Rhonda 

It looks like fall feels like summer!

I’m not sure if you caught the Harvest Moon on Friday night, but it was spectacular. The kind of thing you can sit and watch just for pure enjoyment.

I was in Calgary at the Canadian Education Conference for IAAP when I saw it. What was interesting were all the posts on Facebook about how amazing it was – regardless of where you were. It was incredible everywhere!

Did you miss it? Were you sitting inside reading about the moon but didn’t go outside to get a good look? Life will completely pass you by if you let it.
Don’t let it.
Grab life by the horns and enjoy it. Capture those special moments anywhere and everywhere you can. Focus on the good in people, in things, and in your life. We are surrounded by people who want to focus on the negative. Don’t be one of them.
Next time someone says the dreaded “Winter is right around the corner” turn it around and say something positive like “While we have this incredible weather, I’m going to enjoy that instead of focusing on what isn’t here.”
If you missed the Harvest Moon, get out tonight and look at that one and enjoy it. Focus on the good, not the bad. Keep positive, and keep on the right track.

Keep ON THE RIGHT TRACK this month!

read this!

Dealing with Enemies

Someone has been talking smack about you.

Someone will talk about you in the future, too, and they won’t always say nice things.

If you’re under the misguided belief that no one has ever said anything bad about you behind your back, you’re naïve. Sometimes it’s even the people you consider friends who will stab you in the back.

There are some things you can do to minimize the harmful effects a backstabber will have on you.

  1. Try not to take it personally. Even though it may feel like it, it’s actually not about you. When someone is talking smack about you, it’s because they either feel threatened by you, or they feel there is something to be gained. So stop taking it personally, because it’s about the other person— not you.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ―Eleanor Roosevelt 

  1. Choose your battles. This is not your cue to fight back. It may be tempting to give your backstabber that stare that lasts a few seconds too long, or to walk right up to them and say, “Game on!” But while it’s tempting, it’s not smart; don’t do it.

Your backstabber is probably better at this than you are, so you’re bound to come out of the exchange worse off. Plus, what will it say about you when you stoop to their level? It will say a lot of negative things about you, so don’t do it.

I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. ― George Bernard Shaw

There may be times when you need to confront your backstabber (as a last resort: See #5)(hyperlink), so take the high road and don’t give anyone a reason to think that perhaps the backstabber is right, and you are an awful person, after all.

If you do need to confront your backstabber, check out my previous article here.

  1. Be smarter than they are. That means you won’t be giving them a knife to stick in your back ever again. You need to pay attention to what you say, what comments you make, the opinions you share, and the fact they are probably looking to catch you doing or saying something you shouldn’t. Don’t give them the opportunity. Learn to be evasive, or learn to stop talking when they’re around. Choose your words and actions wisely. Be on the defensive, and stay at least one step ahead of your backstabber.
  1. Act your age. Don’t respond like a child. Don’t go running to all your friends at work and complain to them about what is happening. If you do, you are being a backstabber right back.

You need to document what is going on. It may start as a simple issue, but perhaps what you are dealing with is a bully in training. Make sure you have documentation about who, what, where, when, and how the backstabbing happened.

There will be times when you do need to go to your boss, or someone higher, and let them know what’s going on. Don’t be a tattletale; instead, be a prepared professional. Don’t focus on how it makes you feel, but focus on the negative consequences to the company and your department.

  1. Confront, if needed. I mentioned earlier that there are times when you should confront your backstabber.

If someone is talking smack about my spending habits, my car, my shoes, or my personal life, I don’t think twice about it. To me, that is clearly jealousy and if it makes the other person feel better to talk smack about me because of their jealousy, I can live with that.

If you struggle with it, go back to tip number one.

But if someone is talking smack about me professionally, about what I do and how I got where I am, then I’ll confront them. That type of backstabbing is potentially dangerous to my professional reputation and my career, and it needs to be stopped.

However, before I confront the person I will make sure that I’ve cooled down. I won’t confront anyone when I’m upset and angry. I’ll also speak to my boss or HR to be sure of the route they want me to take. And, I’ll make sure that I’ve documented what I want to say, and prepared for the confrontation to ensure that I do what I need to do. I need to respond to the person’s words and get them to stop, not react emotionally.

If you hear someone talking smack about me, please tell me. If you know that someone is talking smack about you, either because caught him or her at it or because someone told you, follow the advice above.

Dealing with enemies is never easy. Remember that they do have an agenda; they are trying to get ahead, at your expense. Deal with them professionally and consistently, and very quickly they will learn not to mess with you!

** To comment on this post (and please do), link here:

just for Fun!

A Little Entertainment!

* The #1 reason you don’t get hired is being late to the interview.

(I cannot imagine who would think otherwise! That is inexcusable really)

 * The average school aged child catches six colds per year

(Makes me glad we don’t have any children in the house anymore, that’s a lot of being sick)   

*  2% of pet owners have created a Facebook page for their pet 
(I’m not friends with any pets on Facebook. But find me and I’ll be your friend!)  

* 21% of adults lose their credit card once per year
 (I’m probably jinxing myself, but I’ve not ever lost a credit card)

* 58% of adults don’t know how to drive a stick shift 
(I do! Do you?) 

upcoming webinars 

Get to Grips with Grammar – October 6, 2016

Helen Wilkie presenting

  1. The firm is proud to have served our clients for fifty years.
  2. Martin and Deborah’s reports were both submitted on time.
  3. If you don’t feel well, go and lay down.
  4. this is a very unique situation.
  5. I felt badly when my friend lost her job.

If they look fine to you, maybe it’s time to take a closer look at your grammar skills.

On Thursday, October 6, 2016, we are having a one hour webinar to help you get ON THE RIGHT TRACK to better grammar. We will take a non-technical approach to grammar. Instead of delving deep into the rules, which would take years and induce coma, we use examples to illustrate how to use grammar.

(We will even do a couple multiple-choice exercises, which could be fun especially for those who are attending the webinar in groups!).

  • Feel confident when you are writing at work.
  • Get the results you expect.
  • Learn how to present your ideas clearly and persuasively.

This isn’t your seventh grade grammar class – it is information that makes sense, and it works!

Effective Team Meetings  ** New – October 27, 2016
Rhonda Scharf presenting 

Meetings – are they a waste of time, or do they help accomplish goals?
Teams need to meet regularly (if not frequently). Effective teams are essential to your success, and great leaders need to run effective team meetings. But not just “any” kind of meeting (those “check-box” meetings to say we had one), but meetings so the team can incorporate the best practices of effective team meetings.To effectively engage your team and lead them to high performance, both team leaders and members need to equip themselves with the right stills and tools. This program is designed to give you the tools you need to conduct team meetings, build team interaction, and improve team dynamics.

  • Learn a simple three-step format for your meetings
  • Proven practices to improve team communication
  • Tips to planning and facilitating effective team meetings
  • The Top 10 “Must Do’s” for your effective team meeting
  • Rules your meeting must follow so your meeting doesn’t get off track
  • The importance of an effective agenda (and how to create one)
  • Team decisions – which is best?
  • Get your meeting scorecard. How does your meeting rate?
Advanced Excel – October 13, 2016
Confrontation Skills – November 2, 2016
Dealing with Difficult People – November 9, 2016

All Webinars:

Time: 2:00pm ET (1hr each webinar)

Cost: Only $124.00 per dial in line (unlimited attendance per dial in line)

Price of the workshop includes:

  • Executive Overview Document (emailed prior to session)
  • Live Q&A session following presentation
  • Recording of session (available for 60 days)
  • 30 days free email one-on-one coaching
  • Toll Free access
  • Certificates for all attendees

To Register: Email with “Register Me for XX” in the subject line. He will send you all access information and your invoice at that time. 

Attention UK/European Subscribers!

Rhonda is coming to London in October!

Are you World Class?

Attend Rhonda’s full day workshop  The World Class EA/PA: Advancing from Support to Strategic Partner on 13 Oct in London, to become the “World-Class EA/PA” in today’s demanding business environment.

Explore how to refine and expand critical skills that get the work done on time, keep the office running at peak efficiency, whilst propelling your career into the World-Class EA/PA market. In this workshop, you will learn about:

  • Projecting professional credibility
  • Commanding authority and presence
  • Communicating with impact
  • Planning, organising and controlling your own workload
  • Building personal power
  • Improving office teamwork.

Invest in an inspiring, fast-paced and career-changing day of training. Reserve your place today and SAVE £100 (use promo code: WC100).

Imagine how motivated, confident and successful you’ll feel by the end of the workshop. Imagine what investing just 1 day of intensive training could do for your career. Advance from support and have the confidence to become a strategic partner. Continue on your journey to becoming World Class with Rhonda on 13 October in London.  You will be amazed at the (guaranteed) results. You’ve only success to gain!

Minute Taking Made Easy

The Minute Taking Made Easy course is for administrative professionals who want save time, reduce stress and take quick, accurate minutes.

“Minute taking is one of the most important elements of any business meeting. It’s almost like a lost art. That’s one of the reasons I created Minute Taking Made Easy. I know how stressful it can be when you are asked to take minutes in any meeting, (board meetings, retreats, staff meetings, committee meetings – you name it), especially if you have not received formal training. The truth of the matter is everyone faced with the task of taking notes experiences some level of discomfort and uncertainty. It doesn’t have to be that way, especially when you receive professional training to enhance your skills.

My techniques focus on reality and not theory. I developed the Minute Taking Made Easy process based on real-world experience. This training will make your job easier, reduce stress and save you time. There is no second-guessing once you are familiar with the right way to take minutes. Minute Taking Made Easy works regardless of your situation”. Rhonda Scharf, Certified Speaking Professional, Trainer & Author.

Who should attend this workshop?

  • If the thought of taking minutes makes you sweat – the truth is most people get really nervous about taking minutes…
  • You’ve only received minute taking examples from others – and you’re not sure that they are right…
  • You’ve just been asked to start taking minutes or have been taking minutes and haven’t received any formal training – and want to make sure you’re doing it the right way…
  • Too much time is spent stressing and second guessing whether you’re taking minutes the right way – there is an easy formula that’s actually fun…
  • You’re feeling stress and pressure about your reputation in the workplace if you don’t complete the minutes correctly – the potential loss of prestige is a real concern and can affect job security
  • You’d like to apply for a new position but it requires minute taking skills and you haven’t been trained – Minute Taking Made Easy can give you the skills you need to get that promotion
  • You didn’t even know a Minute Taking Made Easy training course existed – you actually have options for In House, Online or Public training courses.


Not able to make it to London in October? Talk to Rhonda about delivering this training at your office or in your part of the world. Email

See you on the webinars!

Rhonda Scharf

Rhonda Scharf CSP
Certified Speaking Professional
ON THE RIGHT TRACK – Training & Consulting Inc. (TM)
Toll Free: 1-877-213-8608
Bus: 613-244-9444

Get your company and staff ON THE RIGHT TRACK to success!
Contact Rhonda today for more information about bringing her into your company or convention to motivate and educate

2004 National President of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers
Named in the current edition of “Who’s Who in Professional Speaking”
Recipient of the Spirit of CAPS award 2008

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Rhonda Scharf, CSP, HOF, Global Speaking Fellow

Certified Speaking Professional, Hall of Fame

Rhonda Scharf, renowned and award-winning speaker, author, consultant, and trainer, is the “go-to” expert for the Administrative Professional and Executive Assistant community. With over 250,000+ trained across the globe, Rhonda is THE authority for fun and uplifting education for admins, because #ADMINSROCK!


Rhonda Scharf, CSP, HOF, Global Speaking Fellow

Certified Speaking Professional, Hall of Fame

Rhonda Scharf, renowned and award-winning speaker, author, consultant, and trainer, is the “go-to” expert for the Administrative Professional and Executive Assistant community. With over 250,000+ trained across the globe, Rhonda is THE authority for fun and uplifting education for admins, because #ADMINSROCK!