Do you justify and make excuses for your behavior?
Every day I hear another excuse why someone won’t do something they should do. Maybe it’s why they won’t wear a mask in a public setting, or why they won’t get a vaccine, carry a cell phone, use a seat belt, or even leave just one space after a period.
For whatever reason, they have decided that they get to opt-out of something the rest of us do. They justify their behavior, thinking that is enough of an “excuse” to get out of changing their habits.
[ctt template=”3″ link=”735zB” via=”yes” ]Have you ever said, “That’s just the way I am”? Do you justify your behavior?[/ctt]
Have you ever said, “That’s just the way I am”? Have you ever used excuses to explain why you shouldn’t have to change and why other people should just accept you the way you are?
See if any of these excuses sound familiar:
• I’m always late. It will never change, you’ll just have to get used to the fact that I don’t run on the same clock like everyone else.
• I’m too old to worry about my appearance. This is the natural me, and worrying about my clothes and hair is too much of a bother. Love me like this, or don’t love me at all.
• I’m a naturally creative person, and I like to work in a chaotic environment. I shouldn’t have to clean up my desk just because other people think I’m messy.
• I wasn’t taught computers and technology in school, and I don’t think I should have to learn about them.
• I like things done my way. I’m not inconveniencing anyone by changing things over to my way, so why do they care?
• I’m too old to change.
• My way is better. If I just show you the right way, you can learn, too.
• I don’t need any more friends, so why should I be friendly at work?
I realize that some things are personality-driven. Some people are good with details, and some aren’t. Some people are very direct in their communication style, and some people take forever to get to the point.
And yes, our styles come to us naturally. However, I don’t think that means that other people have to accept us as “just the way we are” when in reality, we can teach ourselves to be more aware of how others interpret our words and actions.
We always need to be aware of the impact our words and actions have on other people.
I realize there are legitimate reasons that some people can’t wear masks, but how many people refuse because it is too hot, or fogs up their glasses? I have a friend who has decided she will boycott certain stores because they made masks mandatory. She justified why she shouldn’t wear a mask (her justification was personal preference as she finds them restrictive). She feels she is right to decide that she shouldn’t have to wear a mask indoors when everyone else does. She is unable to see how her excuses are not valid.
I’m not addressing legitimate reasons to avoid something. I’m talking about how we justify our behavior.
I like a particular font. Warren likes a different font. I hate the font he likes (he likes Times New Roman, and in my opinion, it is hard to read on a screen and a very dated font. Very 1992 I told him). While I felt I had legitimate reasons not to use Times New Roman, while he felt that my justifications were not valid and continued to use the font he liked (he had no problem reading in on his screen). While I tried to show him proof that it is a bad font choice, he wouldn’t listen. Then I told him it was “company policy” that we never use Times New Roman (winning!).
Who was justifying their behavior in this situation? Who was using excuses? We both were.
Warren was justifying why he shouldn’t change when the real issue is that he doesn’t want to change.
I’m certainly not perfect in this situation either. I need to stop using excuses why Warren should do things my way (especially when it is my personal preference). That is like my friend insisting that I don’t wear a mask when I’m with her because she doesn’t wear a mask.
Excuses and justifications need to disappear.
[ctt template=”3″ link=”i4clC” via=”yes” ]Excuses and justifications need to disappear.[/ctt]
Do you make excuses for your choices or behavior? The bottom line is: we all have a choice about what we do, and excuses just don’t cut it.
