According to Mentorloop.com, 76% of people think mentors are important, but only 37% have one.
We all instinctively know that we can learn from a mentor, and many of us feel compelled to give back to the next generation the benefits of our experience. Yet not all mentoring relationships are positive or effective.
A mentor is not just there to provide answers or solutions to your challenges; they guide, empower, and inspire you to reach your full potential. They share what they’ve learned and the mistakes they’ve made while giving you a fresh perspective and constructive feedback to help you and your career. The experience is invaluable for many.
In theory, they should always work. In reality, they don’t always work. Understanding the best practices when utilizing a mentor at work is essential.
DO: Define Why and What
Before you jump in feet first, all excited to have a mentor, ask yourself what the goal of this relationship is. What are you looking to achieve? What do you want your mentor to do?
I’ve had many administrative professionals ask me to be their mentor. Naturally, I’m always flattered, but I’m also always cautious. I want to ensure that we are both committed to the partnership and clear on expectations. I want to invest my time and energy only if you are willing (and vice versa, I’m sure).
I would ask you to clarify why you want a mentor. What is the purpose of our meeting and exchanging emails, and what do you expect of me as your mentor?
Usually, at this point, I get a blank stare. They smile and tell me they know they want a mentor but aren’t sure what we should be doing together and hope that I know what to do. I politely decline at that point.
You need to know what you are looking for. What do you want from your mentor? Do you want them to be on demand when you have a question on how to do things? Do you want them to point out what you could do differently or even better? Or are you looking for them to be a sounding board for your ideas and frustrations?
Before you ask someone to be your mentor, know why you want a mentor. What is your goal? Is there a specific reason you picked that person, or are you clear about what you expect them to do? Having clear goals and vision will help you both understand expectations.
Once you’re ready to ask, you can explain why you chose them and what you see their role as being. Give them timeframes, such as wanting to meet for lunch monthly (your treat) or being able to call if you have a question. The amount of investment is important to your mentor, as they likely don’t want to invest a huge amount of time either.
DO: Be Open and Honest
Transparency is crucial in a mentorship relationship, so ensure that you trust your mentor implicitly. If you feel they might not honor your confidences, pick someone else. Share your career aspirations, challenges, and areas where you need improvement. The more your mentor knows about your situation, the better they can provide relevant advice and support.
My advice is not to use your mentor the same way you would a friend when it comes to the frustrating aspects of your role. While you do need to be open and honest, you shouldn’t always be complaining and negative.
DO: Always be Prepared
I have a pet peeve; I’m sure I’m not alone. When someone asks me to meet with them (for whatever reason), I expect them to be prepared for the meeting. If you have a mentor, you need to respect their time by always being prepared for your meetings.
This means having a clear agenda, questions ready, and any necessary materials or updates on your progress since the last meeting. Being organized shows that you value the mentorship and are committed to your development.
DO: Be Willing to Take Action
Since you are asking for advice and guidance, you need to be willing to take it and do something with it. Taking action shows your commitment to the relationship. Hearing what your mentor says and then not doing anything with that advice is dismissive, almost like you are telling your mentor they are wrong. Show that you are willing to put in the effort to grow so that your mentor becomes even more invested in your development.
DO: Show Appreciation
A simple thank you can go a long way. Acknowledge the time and effort your mentor is dedicating to help you. Whether through a thank-you note, an email, paying for lunch or coffee when you meet, or verbal appreciation, showing gratitude reinforces a positive and respectful relationship.
DON’T: Be Impatient
Mentorship is a journey, not a quick fix. You can’t expect immediate results and don’t expect that the changes you make will have an immediate impact. It takes time to see the benefits from the guidance and advice you receive. Be patient and trust the process, knowing that growth and development will come with time and consistent effort.
DON’T: Be Afraid to Ask Questions
No question is too small or insignificant. If you’re uncertain about something, ask for clarification. Your mentor is there to help you navigate uncertainties and challenges, so take advantage of their knowledge and experience.
DON’T: Overwhelm Your Mentor
While seeking guidance is important, be considerate of your mentor’s time and other commitments. Avoid bombarding them with too many questions or requests. Find a balance that works for both of you and respect any boundaries that have been set.
At the beginning, set your meeting frequency. Do you want to meet weekly, monthly, or quarterly? The earlier you set up the rhythm, the better it will be for you both. While you must be prepared for each meeting, don’t come with a laundry list of items either.
DON’T: Take Criticism Personally
If you are looking for their advice and feedback, then be willing to accept it and remind yourself they are not trying to hurt you. Don’t read into the advice they give you (they do not have an ulterior motive), and don’t take it personally. They agreed to be your mentor because they want to help you. If you take things personally when they give you feedback or advice, they will hold back, and you won’t get the benefit you need from the relationship.
Constructive criticism is a valuable part of the mentorship experience. It’s meant to help you improve, not to undermine your abilities. Embrace feedback with an open mind and use it as a tool for growth.
DON’T: Neglect the Relationship
Mentorship is a two-way street. While you’re benefiting from your mentor’s experience, look for ways to give back. This could be through sharing your insights, offering assistance in areas where you’re strong, or simply maintaining regular communication to keep the relationship active and engaged. If you can sing your mentor’s praises, be sure to sing!
Asking a mentor for their time and advice and then canceling appointments or failing to meet with them shows them you don’t value their time. If you take the time to ask for them to be your mentor, be sure to honor your commitments.
Mentorship can be one of the most rewarding experiences in your professional journey. You can maximize the benefits of this gift by following the suggestions above. Remember, mentorship is about growth and learning for both parties involved, so approach it with enthusiasm, openness, and a willingness to evolve. Happy mentoring!
This article was written by Rhonda Scharf and not by Artificial Intelligence.
