We had a great online conversation at our recent #AdminsRock online conference about uncovering our blind spots. Do you know your blind spots? Are you sure?
Most people think they do. But most people think they are self-aware, and they are not. In her book Insight, organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich says that 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but only 10-15% truly are.
That made me think. Am I as self-aware as I think I am? Do I truly understand myself, and am I honest about how others perceive me?
So, I did exactly what we spoke about during the session, and I went to ChatGPT to see how well “she” knows me. I use ChatGPT for several purposes; however, as you’re aware, I write all my articles and don’t rely on AI for that. I do use it for a first pass on many ideas, and it knows me well.
The question I asked was, “Knowing what you know about me, what would you say my five blind spots are?”
Self-awareness is more than just a buzzword; it is a cornerstone to success. When we have blind spots, we may not work well with others, which may hurt us professionally in various ways. Taking the time to really understand how others see us and who they think we are is hard work. It can be hard to see the ugly truth about yourself —the difference between what you believe and reality. However, being aware can be rewarding, too, both personally and professionally.
Blind spots are aspects of our behavior or personality that we fail to recognize, but others can see clearly. Do you know that person that at work we all roll our eyes about? The one who is always jumping into every conversation with their opinion and experience? The person we say is “me me me” focused? We all have that person at work.
That person is likely completely unaware that others perceive them in that way. They likely perceive their behavior as helpful and adding to the conversation. They are totally unaware of how annoying it is to the rest of us.
We see things in others easily. Do we see them in ourselves, and if we do, do we justify them or ignore them?
Most people have blind spots. Common ones include overestimating our abilities, denying or justifying feedback, and misjudging the impact of our words and actions on others. At work, these blind spots impact the team and potentially affect your career development.
As I read through ChatGPT’s response to my question, one of my blind spots became apparent.
Bias Toward Fixing Instead of Feeling
Your practical, results-oriented mindset means you’re great at solving problems. But some people—especially in emotionally charged situations—don’t want solutions right away. They want to be heard, felt, or validated.
Consider: Pausing your “fix-it” instinct and leading with empathy first, especially in coaching or mentoring moments.
Ouch. I joke in my workshops that I didn’t continue being a nurse after graduating college because I was lacking in empathy. It’s a funny punchline that is ridiculously close to home.
I am aware that I’m a “fixer.” The AI response prompted me to reflect on how I’ve been handling some recent situations, and I acknowledged that I often jump into solutions when I should instead make the other person feel heard, understood, and validated. I’m also aware that I justify my behavior when I do that. I say things to myself like, “They were asking me how to fix it,” or “They know that I’m a natural problem solver, which is what they wanted from me,” instead of being self-aware and admitting that perhaps that is not at all what they wanted from me. I’m just trying to make myself feel better.
Since we all need to take off our rose-colored sunglasses and see our blind spots with clarity and professionalism, here are some things you can do to uncover them. Be sure you don’t jump to the defensive or justify your behavior. Hear what is being shared with you by others. Be willing to be self-aware so that you can adjust your blind spots. You will benefit if you are willing, but you will be defensive and justify if you are not.
Seek Constructive Feedback: Regularly ask colleagues for honest input on your performance and interactions. Questions like, “Is there something I could do differently to support our team better?” or “What’s the one thing you see me doing that hurts me professionally?” can open fabulous conversations. Tasha Eurich (above) suggests that we find a “loving critic” at work and not ask all our colleagues for feedback. Instead, tell one or two trusted colleagues, in advance, what you are looking for so they can think about it. Explain you are looking to identify blind spots and want them to tell you what you don’t know.
Self-Reflection: Give yourself time to sit back and look at what you are doing. Imagine you are watching a video at the end of the day and reflect on what you did, thought, said, and the outcomes of your actions. That reflection time is not for you to beat yourself up about what happened but to see it from a different perspective and allow yourself to become aware of how your words and actions impact others.
Never Stop Learning: I’ve been teaching emotional intelligence and promoting self-awareness for over a dozen years. That doesn’t mean I can’t learn more about it. Any time you can read a book or article, listen to a podcast, watch a video, or even attend workshops or seminars focused on emotional intelligence and communication skills, you will benefit. Sometimes, they reinforce things you know, and sometimes, they give you a new nugget of information. Even though this is my life, I’m willing to learn, and by learning, I’m improving myself!
I consider myself part of the 10-15% of the population that is self-aware, but my simple question to ChatGPT had me looking at those new answers with a fresh perspective. My blind spots five years ago aren’t necessarily my blind spots today. Am I really as self-aware as I thought? Are you?
I’m always looking to be self-aware, even when the answers hurt. It will make me a better person. And while I shared only one of my five blind spots according to ChatGPT, they all made me more aware of how I impact others, and ultimately, that helps me (and hopefully you!).
Everyone wins when we identify and correct our blind spots. It’s a journey that won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it.