I’m currently reading a book about golfer Tiger Woods. Warren and I are big golf fans—we’re even heading to his restaurant in Jupiter next week—and I would love to see Tiger play one day. As I read, I’ve found myself deeply unsettled by his father, Earl Woods. This isn’t the first time I’ve come across accounts of Earl’s parenting style; other books and documentaries have painted a similar picture.
This particular book is an unauthorized biography, and it doesn’t depict Earl in a flattering light. He comes across as aggressive, domineering, and often disrespectful. Above all, he was relentless in pushing Tiger toward greatness.
The book outlines Tiger’s life in a way that suggests he had little choice in becoming a golf icon. From the moment he was born, his father had his future mapped out. Tiger’s childhood revolved around relentless practice—hours upon hours every day. While other kids played and explored, Tiger was expected to focus solely on golf.
This raises an important question: how do you respond when someone pushes you? Not in the sense of provoking you, but rather in challenging you to do more, achieve more, and reach higher.
Tiger responded exactly as his father intended, and he became one of the greatest golfers of all time.
But what if you were pushed the same way? Would you have responded in kind?
“Pushing” comes in many forms. Sometimes, it’s gentle encouragement—like when parents urge their children to take up music lessons. Other times, it’s the influence of colleagues who nudge you into taking on a new project, convinced that you’re capable of more than you realize.
And then, there’s the push that comes from someone telling you that you *can’t* do something.
When I was in high school, I took all my subjects at the advanced level, including math. During my first semester, I struggled with some concepts and wasn’t performing as well as I was used to. Maybe it was the transition to high school, maybe the material was just harder—but struggling was unfamiliar territory for me.
One day, my math teacher pulled me aside and suggested that I move from the advanced level to the general level. I was mortified. Was I really not smart enough? Was I a quitter?
Rather than accept the suggestion, I used it as fuel. It became a challenge—a push that made me determined to prove I was capable. I doubled down on my efforts, studied harder, and completed all my high school subjects, including math, at the advanced level.
This same principle applies in the professional world. When we apply for jobs, we often reach for roles that stretch beyond our current skill set. But what happens when we don’t get the job? Does it discourage us into applying only for roles we’re already qualified for? Or does it push us to improve and try again?
Does a push only work if it leads to success, or does the push itself have value even when we don’t succeed?
Tiger Woods didn’t win every golf tournament as a child, and he certainly hasn’t won every tournament as an adult. But he used each setback as motivation. His triumphant win at the 2019 Masters, after years of struggling to reclaim his dominance, is proof of how he turned failures into fuel. The media has been—and continues to be—brutal toward him, but rather than letting it break him, he channels it into motivation.
So, when someone offers you constructive criticism, do you react or respond?
Imagine someone tells you that you interrupt others too often and aren’t the best listener. Do you dismiss them outright, convinced they don’t know what they’re talking about? Do you make excuses—“That’s just the way I am”? Or do you take that push and use it as an opportunity for self-improvement?
Embracing that push and actively working on becoming a better listener benefits you in the long run. Don’t immediately assume that feedback lacks validity—consider how it might help you grow.
Being pushed isn’t easy. Our instinct is often to resist, to feel offended, or to retreat into comfort. I certainly felt a strong negative reaction when reading about how Earl Woods pushed Tiger as a child. But Tiger clearly saw it differently.
If we can shift our perspective and recognize these pushes for what they are—challenges and opportunities—we can use them to propel us forward toward our goals.
This article was written by Rhonda Scharf and not by artificial intelligence.
