Most of us feel like a 12-year-old on our first day of high school when we encounter new situations at work. We want to do well, we don’t want to embarrass ourselves, and we want to feel like we belong with others. Our nerves get the better of us and talk us out of doing what we want to do for fear something will go wrong.
Confidence. We throw the word around like we all have an abundance of it, but in reality, we don’t. According to the 2021 State of the Workplace Report, only 4 percent of respondents felt confident at work. That means that 96 percent of us regularly struggle with feeling confident.
Does confidence, or lack thereof, matter? YES! In the same study, 53 percent admitted they turned down work opportunities because of a lack of confidence. Turning work opportunities down definitely matters when you look in the rearview mirror at your career.
I assume you love reading this newsletter. If I reached out to you to ask you to write an article for it, would you say yes, or no? If I asked you to speak at my upcoming #AdminsRock Conference about something you are good at, would you be willing to present it in public? Would you be jumping at the opportunity if your manager asked you to run a high-stakes project at work to raise your profile?
My experience has been that most of you would say yes while reading this article, but if the situation actually came to fruition, you would find a reason (or excuse) why you couldn’t do it.
Confidence is a key factor in achieving success in the workplace. You have to believe you will be successful and not doubt yourself because doubt causes us to walk away from opportunities. Whether it is a promotion, looking to influence others, or building strong relationships with your colleagues, confidence plays a crucial role in your professional development.
Confidence matters! When you believe you can do something, you are more likely to take on the challenges, make decisions, ask questions, and put yourself in situations that showcase you. Naturally, this makes you happier, increases your job satisfaction, makes you more resilient as you know you can manage the situation, and sets you up for even more success in your personal and professional life.
Success helps you be successful. Doubt holds you back.
But how do you increase your confidence? It isn’t a matter of “fake it until you make it,” although that advice does sound tempting. It is more than just a positive attitude.
- Build your skills and knowledge. The more workshops and webinars you attend, the more skills-based training you are part of, and the more exposure to learning you have, will build your self-confidence. Typically, any learning experience involves more than just a lecture (you can’t confirm you are learning anything if you aren’t participating), and any interaction, be it small or large group discussion, role-plays, games, or question and answer, confirms that you asked a great question, knew the answer, or felt confident participating in the discussion.
Once you take those new skills back to the office and try them out, you realize you can utilize this knowledge, which naturally builds confidence.
When I first started working, I was afraid to ask questions during team meetings. I was scared to push back when someone sent too much work my way. I was convinced I would either be fired or reprimanded. My confidence was very low as it was my first job, and I didn’t know any better.
I learned the skills over time by reading books and asking others. I became more confident and stood up for myself when I needed to. I was never fired nor reprimanded, and my confidence grew. Once I started taking training workshops, my confidence grew even more as I knew that what I had done in the past was working!
Now, fear of reprimand or firing doesn’t enter my mind. I’m professional, respectful, and confident that I can stand up for myself instead of doubting I will say or do the right thing.
- Belong to a supportive environment. You need to feel supported before you will have the confidence to implement your newly learned skills or the confidence to try something you’ve never done before.
Ask yourself if your colleagues and managers make you feel supported. Do they encourage you to try new things, offer advice when they don’t go according to plan, or encourage you to get up and try again? If they belittle you, embarrass you, or shame you, your confidence will naturally suffer, and you won’t grow. If you ask for feedback (regularly), do they give you constructive feedback?
Do you support others with their confidence and give helpful feedback, or do you talk about them behind their back, share their stories of failure, and laugh when things aren’t perfect? You can’t expect others to support you if you’ve shown them you don’t support them.
When we feel respected, valued, and supported at work, we are much more likely to feel confident, enjoy what we do, and be willing to try new things. We are confident that even if it isn’t perfect, it isn’t career-altering.
- Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. You are far more likely to be successful if you maximize your strengths. Do you regularly analyze where you are strong and where you need more work?
Pooja is my VA, and she has been with us for more than four years now. When David passed in early 2020, Pooja stepped in and took over his job for her brother. She was working with him already, but she didn’t have the confidence to start her own company. Instead, she helped him when he needed help. Pooja felt the family needed David’s income when we lost David, so she took over.
Her confidence was low, but I can assure you this is a supportive environment, and I wanted her to be successful. She has been. When I asked her what her strengths were, she shared she enjoyed and was good at the creative side of being a VA. I asked her to create all the graphics we use to advertise our webinars and workshops and found she was very good at that. Recently, I asked her if she was interested in learning Canva so she could create the workbooks I need for my workshops. She was very hesitant but was willing to try. She is fabulous and now offers this service to other clients.
Self-reflection is important. It is okay to have low confidence in some areas of your job, but you should have confidence in many and be willing to do things you know won’t be perfect.
- Be prepared. If you are doing something for the first time, set yourself up for success by taking a little extra time, asking others, researching, and thinking it through. It will take you longer initially but will improve with time.
A recent client asked me to facilitate a potentially contentious meeting of two internal departments. I know that I teach conflict resolution skills, but I haven’t had much experience as a facilitator in these situations. I could have declined (the same way you would decline a promotion), but then I would regret that my lack of confidence got in the way of improving my skillset and value to clients.
I was over-prepared, but my confidence didn’t waver once we got started. I knew that I could manage whatever was going to happen, and of course, I did. The next time a situation like this comes up, I will be ready to handle it, and of course, I can add this new skill to my LinkedIn profile!
- Volunteer. Take on new challenges and responsibilities—volunteer at church, your children’s school, the hospital, or the local library. I know many of you from IAAP, AAP, or IMA who have volunteered to be Chapter President, Treasurer, or Membership Chair and learned skills you could take back to work. You can’t get fired as a volunteer; the environment is typically highly supportive.
If we stayed as that 12-year-old on the first day of high school, we would have never grown. It took confidence to go on your first job interview, ask for a raise, and ask to attend a conference.
The more you tried and succeeded, the more you were willing to try. Risking creates confidence, as does success, positivity, and support.
Be confident. Stop holding yourself back!
This article first appeared in Executive Support Magazine, a global training publication and a must-read for any administrative professional. Visit the website at https://www.executivesupportmagazine.com/ to find out more.
