Taking the High Road When the Conversation Goes Low

We are living through difficult political times. Whether the conversation is about referendums, midterm elections, provincial or state elections, or federal leadership, keeping politics private can feel like an old-fashioned concept. You can walk into the lunchroom to warm up your soup and discover you have apparently registered for a political debate. You didn’t even bring your notes. You brought crackers.

Most of us have opinions, sometimes very strong ones. We also know that having an opinion doesn’t require sharing it with everyone standing near the microwave. But not everyone approaches workplace conversations that way, and sometimes the smartest move is to choose not to join in.

These conversations are hardly unusual. In research published in August 2024, Gallup reported that nearly half of U.S. workers had discussed political issues with a coworker in the previous month. Twelve percent said political conversations at work had made them uncomfortable. These are U.S. findings, but the challenge will sound familiar to many readers elsewhere: how do you remain professional when a conversation starts pushing your buttons? 

And politics certainly doesn’t have exclusive rights to those buttons. A colleague questions your competence in a meeting. A customer speaks to you as though you personally invented the problem. Someone gets promoted, and suddenly the group chat becomes a courtroom where the accused is conveniently absent.

In January 2025, SHRM reported that 40% of U.S. workers had experienced or witnessed incivility at work. We don’t need an election to find ourselves deciding whether to respond thoughtfully or deliver the comeback we have ready in our heads. 

I’ve always liked the expression “take the high road.” A longtime friend of mine added that there isn’t much traffic up there. I can add that some days the entrance ramp is very hard to find (and it can be much too easy to engage instead of taking the high road). Taking it requires intention, especially when you are annoyed, offended, embarrassed, or absolutely certain you are right.

Here are five ways to make that choice while keeping your professionalism, boundaries, and dignity intact.

1. Check the story you are telling yourself. I remember a comedy scene in which a woman was upset because her friend had seen her Paris vacation photos on Facebook without clicking “like.” Apparently, viewing the Eiffel Tower without providing the appropriate digital applause was a friendship violation. It was funny because the leap from “you didn’t click a button” to “you don’t care about me” was so enormous, yet so recognizable because not only have many of us been there, but we have all seen it happen online.

We make similar leaps at work. Have you ever read an email and assumed the writer was angry with you? Perhaps they just questioned you about your process, and we interpret that as an accusation that we are incompetent. Before responding, separate what happened from what you think it means. “She asked why I booked that room” is a fact. “She thinks I can’t do my job” is an interpretation.

Ask yourself, “What else could explain this?” Perhaps she needs a different seating arrangement. Perhaps your colleague’s brief email was written between meetings. You don’t have to assume everyone has wonderful intentions, but you can check before assigning terrible ones. Try, “When you asked about the room, was there a requirement I missed?”

2. Have a boundary ready before you need it. Picture someone saying, “You’re a smart person. Surely you agree with me about this election?” That sounds like a compliment, but it comes with a rather inconvenient condition. Apparently, you remain sensible only if you provide the correct answer.

You can respond with, “I keep my political views private at work. How is the conference planning coming along?” If they keep pushing, repeat the boundary: “I’m not going to discuss my vote.” You don’t need to produce a detailed defence of your decision, because that simply gives the other person more material to debate.

The same approach works with gossip: “I don’t want to speculate about why she got the promotion.” Or with a personal remark: “I’m happy to discuss the work. Please leave personal comments out of it.” Keep your voice steady and your words brief. Adding “unlike some people” to the end of a perfectly good boundary is how we accidentally take the exit ramp.

3. Give yourself time to respond thoughtfully. The first response that comes to mind isn’t always the one you should share. Especially if it begins with “Well, actually…” and includes a detailed history of everything the other person has done wrong since 2019.

I often recommend a 24-hour pause when circumstances allow. That is a practical guideline, not a scientific deadline for becoming reasonable. Sometimes you need ten minutes. Sometimes you need to sleep on it. Sometimes it needs an answer immediately, but your frustration does not need to be included in that answer.

Imagine a customer sends an angry message accusing you of ignoring a request you only received that morning. You could reply with timestamps, capital letters, sarcasm or justification. Or you could acknowledge the issue: “I understand this is urgent. I received the request this morning and will confirm the available options by 2 p.m.”

If you need time during a live conversation, say, “I want to give this a considered answer. Can we return to it after lunch?” Then follow through. Before sending a written response, ask yourself, “Will this help resolve the problem, and would I be comfortable seeing it forwarded?”

4. Choose support carefully. Work friendships can be wonderful. I have some who have become lifelong friends, and I would never suggest we should keep everyone at arm’s length. But friendship does not automatically make every conversation appropriate or confidential.

Suppose a colleague undermines you in a meeting. Talking privately with your work BFF to work out your next step can be helpful. Retelling the story to six coworkers, complete with an impression of the offender’s voice, is more likely to create a second problem. It may be an excellent impression. That does not make it a good career decision.

Ask yourself, “Am I looking for help, or am I recruiting an audience?” Try, “Can you help me plan how to address something that happened?” Share only what is needed and respect confidentiality. You can seek support without turning the workplace into competing teams.

5. Address the behavior without attacking the person. Taking the high road still leaves room for a direct conversation. If someone publicly blames you for a missed deadline, staying silent may leave an inaccurate impression. You can correct the record calmly: “The materials arrived Tuesday, after Monday’s deadline. I sent them for review that afternoon. Let’s confirm an earlier handoff for the next meeting.”

Later, you might add privately, “When responsibility was assigned to me before we checked the timeline, it affected my credibility. Next time, please check the details with me first.” You have identified the behavior, explained its impact, and requested a change. 

Choose the response that fits the situation. An unwanted debate may need a boundary. A work problem may need facts and a solution. Repeated bullying, discriminatory remarks, or threats may need documentation and support through the appropriate workplace channel. Taking the high road does not require quietly accepting mistreatment, and preserving a bridge does not mean allowing someone to keep driving over you.

Professionalism is intentional. It shows up in the words we choose, the conversations we decline, and the problems we address before resentment does the talking. We can disagree, protect our boundaries, and hold people accountable while treating them with respect.

The high road may have less traffic, but it still takes practice to get there. Have your sentence ready before someone turns your soup break into a televised debate. Your lunch is getting cold, and you have better things to do.